You want to reach out.

You should reach out.

You feel guilty for not reaching out.

But what to say? (Or what not to say?)

If this feels familiar, keep scrolling. The antidote is below.

Each card shows you a common scenario you might find yourself in, something you could say that is likely to be helpful, and why.

That set of scenarios together give you insight into how to navigate these uncomfortable situations before you’re in them.

Read them all. Pick a couple that resonate loudest. Revisit them right before you engage.

You’re a different person walking into that room than you otherwise would have been.

In talking to dozens of survivors and primary caretakers, everyone has at least one story of something someone said that didn’t land well. In my quest to help patients, I learned that I needed to help their people feel less inadequate, less unprepared.

You are their people, and you weren’t taught how to do this.

You can’t fix the cancer, but you can be a rock in their support system.

You don’t need to fix the cancer to change someone’s experience of it.

Support is not a consolation prize.